Running, And Running Away
Yesterday morning I woke up, laced my shoes and got over to Greenlake to do a little run. One lap around feeling that crisp air and then proceeded to a second lap because one just wasn’t enough. I am reading Chi Marathon right now so the entire run I was adjusting my stride, adjusting my shoulders, trying to land light on the balls of my feet,trying to breathe deeply in and out through my nose, and trying to stay present. It’s funny how on that first mile everything in your body speaks to you.
Your ankles ache a little
Your knees are confused why you ran so soon from the last run.
Your fingers start to numb a little wondering why you forgot your gloves, again.
Your shoulders tense up and you have to force relaxation.
You have to breathedeeply to all that pain and remember that half of ll this is exaggerated in your mind.
After that first mile you get to a clearing…your legs no longer hurt and your breathing becomes relaxed. You kind of forget that you are running. You begin to notice the trees, notice the families of ducks that all have a purpose, notice the changing clouds and the changing sun. You notice the runners on their second lap with you, you notice the new runners and realize that we are all here together.
We all have this common love for finding ourselves within our runs.
When I run, I am at peace. I lose all the stress of my life, of my day when I am out there.
I need to work on this in my actual reality. I need to see my life and live it the way I do on a run…with grace and a clear mind without worry of the past or future.
Since the new year has begun, I have fallen into stress eating, low motivation, unwilling to go to yoga daily and just want to lay in bed and read. I think it’s because I feel a tad stuck, I still don’t know my fate for the next few months, all my yoga friends are going to level one training in Utah this April and I desperately want to go, my best friend might be moving to Houston in August and I have crazy abandonment issues rising when everyone around me is moving forward while I am staying in the same place. I know this is just my ego getting the best of me and I must get over it…for now I will just keep running….and hopefully someday I can live my dreams and teach yoga and travel this beautiful earth at the same time.